believe it or not, i was a teacher once.

i walked into a store to make a return today. handed the manager my receipt. he looked at it and said: “bonaventura. seymour high school! hey, girl!”

he had to tell me his name because i didn’t recognize him as an adult, but then it came to me. he totally completely made my day! he grew up into a great, responsible, friendly young man. i’m still smiling.

as much as my last two years of teaching really scarred me (fuck you, you know who), there are some things i really miss. and that is connecting with kids and seeing them grow. there’s no way i will ever believe that kids didn’t respect me. sure some didn’t. it was be totally freakishly weird if some middle-school age kids didn’t disrespect me. ya know?

that said, i’m not a great disciplinarian. and i’m okay with that. i feel that teachers shouldn’t have to be super strict babysitters and kids should not be coddled (although in some situations they actually should be). my views on that are pretty old-school. and maybe i wasn’t cut out for inner-city, although i don’t fully believe that either.

i do have the utmost respect for teachers who find a balance and are able to become a teacher i would have liked to have. i know quite a few. go all of you! your students are so lucky to have you!

for me? maybe one day i’ll find myself back in a classroom. but now i’m really really happy where i am. it’s perfect. i love my work and my coworkers, whom i’ve come to consider family.

although that said, i would really love to teach a creative writing class as a side gig. i’m going to make that happen.

today in class i had a special ed student whom i’ve known for three years ask me if i had looked at some roller skating/dancing videos she had told me about. she had given them to me after seeing the “derby chick” necklace my cooperating teacher gave me. the one i wear every time i sub because it gives me a sense of confidence and lets me feel like i’m  channeling  my cooperating teacher.  i apologized to this student and told her that my life had kind of been a mess and i hadn’t done it yet, even though i had promised i would before i saw her again.

she then gave me a smiley face sticker and asked me if there was anything she could help me with. so i told that an aunt i am very close to passed away not long ago and just hours before i heard that her boyfriend, whom we all love, had joined her last night.

the student said she understood and had felt like that before and that when it happens, she just thinks that it will happen to all of us one day. and that thought makes her feel better.  she then asked me if that made me feel any better. she said she wanted to say something that helped me.

and experiences like this is just one of the reasons i really love what i do.

and know what i am going to do right now? i am going to go watch some roller skating/dancing vidoes.

 

r.i.p. we will miss you but are very happy you can be together now as you should be.